:)I'm a single mom by choice (got old and had my daughter on my own)... with no family near and older single friends who I decided to leave our comfortable lifestyle of wine clubs and travel - who just don't understand parenthood nor have interest in babysitting... But you're right, having a child all of a sudden takes away all that "need" to seek out a spouse (at least for me).
I just have no interest in dating - which just perplexes my friends.
I fear I'll be my mother who divorced at 36 and never dated again!!
Immersed her life in her kids (or used it as an excuse to NOT get over the fear of dating after being married 15 years). I'd rather stay at home with my kids and either go out or just sit home and relax!
So she decided, well before I was aware we were in negotiations, that she would check with a lawyer to discuss options. (capital R added for emphasis) Okay, but I’m not here to judge. But in couple’s therapy she never answered the question, “When did you exit the relationship? The second time I felt a tectonic shift, very different, was at a titty bar.
But something a “friend” of hers said today, brought a bit of a different perspective on things. We were there joking about bringing home the young girl with us.
I guess what I'm telling myself is--I'd rather be single. From my perspective as a working single mom, a guy has to be pretty special to take time away from my child when I already wish that I had more time with him.
Perhaps the THRILL of something new is reason enough to wander, to flirt, to “have lunch” with someone of the opposite sex. The point was, things were unstable, and I didn’t want to consider her leaving me for any reason. Chances are she was already in the process of leaving, separating. And, as I understand from writing here, very different from what I truly think I need. I need a partner who takes an equal part in generating the joy and warm emotions in the relationship.
Or if you want to get really thrilling, how about the same sex? The several times during our marriage, for example, when my first ex-wife called with some reason we needed to have coffee, I would talk to my then-wife about it.[Um, this is how the ex-y and I got started. And all it would take was that last offer, opportunity, greener pasture, to launch her into a new trajectory. So was it too easy for her to set her sights on that new goal, male or female, and then make her calculated and spreadsheeted plans to get there? I need someone who adores me, and who I adore back. And more clearly now, than when I started this rant.
If you had a miserable date, tell your girlfriends all about it — not your kid.
Of course, the time and place will come when you feel ready to introduce your boyfriend to your child.